1. A week of bike mechanic school. Not that I love to work on bikes, mind you, but in the right setting with a masterful teacher, (preferably good looking male, tall and thin) I would thrive. I know just the one: it's in Ashland, Oregon. Taking a class means I have to attend, thus I'm more apt to learn something. After the week is over, I plan to load up the panniers, head to the Pacific Coast, and ride north, then swing inland, following the Columbia River until I get to Portland. I aim to visit old friends and microbreweries.
2. A bike maid. In a perfect world my maid would retrieve my bike from the garage, wipe and lubricate the chain, dust the road dirt from frame and fenders, then knock on my front door, ready to hand my impeccably maintained machine to me. All I have to do is ride.
|"Two large mocha lattes, please."|
4. Footwear that really keeps me warm. By that I mean shoes that fit in toe clips yet have built-in heat. I can never, ever keep my feet warm in the winter beyond a 30 minute ride. From the moment I get on the bike it's a steady decline, so if I start out with cold feet, it gets progressively worse. Nothing like frosted feet to relegate the bikes to storage before I really want to.
5. Santa, if you can't manage #1, I'd like a bike mechanic at my disposal. I was thinking about stowing the school instructor—Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome—in my closet. That way, he'll be handy when I need him. I promise to only use the guy for his intended purpose.
Your forever fan,